Wednesday, February 12, 2014

On the Road to Forever

February 12, 2014
The sun is out today but the sky isn't blue it's white.  The precursor to our upcoming blizzard, Winter Storm Pax, I suppose.  Tomorrow should be a good day for shoveling the 12-18" we are predicted to endure and for working on my taxes. Today I am catching up on house things...from laundry to bookkeeping work...all while my house is scented by my Cinnamon Frosting candle.
In two days it will be all hearts day. 
 Valentines Day.
 The celebration of those we love. Personally I celebrate them always and I know they know that.  And a few days ago I sent out more than a dozen cards to those special post offices that were offering a special Valentines Day postmark cancellation to add a special touch to their cards.  I also sent hubby a few cards doing that as well as having his here at home to open. 
A year ago I made him a covered shoebox, like we did in school as children, and everyday for almost a year I wrote a note or a card and popped it in there to give to him on Valentines Day. I just went and looked and He still has it on his closet shelf.
That made me smile.
Thoughts on what Valentines Day should be...for me...have changed greatly over the years.
Growing up, I knew that it was a hard time for my mom.  Her father passed away on February 10th and was buried on Valentine's Day so for her it was a reminder of that.  And we as kids would come home with our shoe boxes of cards from school all excited never really getting what she was feeling.
When I started dating and Valentine's Day came, it seemed to be so much pressure on the we, as women have these great expectations of being wooed off of our feet.  Of course, who doesn't want flowers and candy or a card on that most special love day.  If you do get them it's great, according to your peers and if you don't..the guy was a rat.
Me, I want woo all year long.
I keep the spirit of Christmas all year...I am a mom all year...I don't need one day of recognition....I hope that those I surround myself with feel it always...from me and for me.
The first time I met my husband was when we worked together.  I worked in the office and he on the factory floor.  I didn't date men I worked with and when I left my job there...I never expected to see him again.
Fate had other plans.
Years later, when I had my daughter I was a maid of honor for my best friend and by dumb luck that weekend her new husband and my husband (now)  happened to be in a bar talking about the wedding.  He was shown pictures of who was in it and when he saw me he remarked he knew me.  He told his friend who told him I was single...that he thought I was nice to have me give him a call.
I know, I know...guys make the call...  But I tossed that line of thinking into the garbage and I called him, January 27th.  We talked on the phone for hours and set up our first date for the week of Valentines Day.
Nothing love and red hearts...just two friends going out to eat.
Before my date I walked downtown to the drugstore and bought a simple valentine.  It read I just wanted to wish you a Happy Valentines Day.

We had our date and before I went in after, he gave me a simple card too.
I was engaged by April of that year, and Married in October of that same year.
We laugh now looking back and he will say to me at random times...I am glad you called.  No one else knows what that means but us.  Our beginning on the road to forever.
For the Valentine's Days after that, he always feels he needs to buy me flowers and of course the card.  I have 27 years of cards and it makes me giggle that some years he's picked out the same card.
I heard him in the bedroom a few days ago say..."oh boy."  And when I asked what was wrong he replied..."I hope you don't have this one."  {smiling}
As for flowers, I don't need florist deliveries of huge bouquets and a big charge on a credit card. No need. Sure they are wonderful but We agreed that if he saw some great flowers in Walmart for $10.00 he can get that for the both of us...and the house. We then split it and take flowers for our daughters grave remembering her as we did when she was alive. 
But we mainly agree to save that money and spend it on bedding plants for spring garden planting.  For $15.00 I can buy a tray of bedding flowers and vegetables and get 45-70 plants. Money better spent.  Enjoyed over the summer.
Dinners out for Valentines Day mean high priced restaurants that are over crowded. Again, not that it's not wonderful...but for me it was never necessary.
Love is so much more. 
I can eat a steak out with him on any random Tuesday and it means the world to me.
We have seen hell in our life together.  From the death of family (both of our moms, grandmother and the murder of our only child), to friends both young and old. We have gone through the sickness ( his cancer surgeries) and my issues....and the health part of our vows.  We have struggled financially, lost jobs and have even been robbed.
But most importantly, we have also seen the joys of life together. 
Thank goodness always, for the joys.  They are what is most important.
On the road to forever.
I wish you happiness on your road as well...
Happy Valentines Day.

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